Sometimes...

Sometimes when I am asleep I have nice dreams, of smoked Salmon on a bagel or the smell of Boofer’s tail. As I open my eyes all warm and cosy a smell assaults my nose. It’s the Wizzle. She’s stuck her arse in my face again. In those moments between awake and sleep I forget I am forced to live with an idiot lilac point who is scared of envelopes.

She crossed the line last week. She played with MY Bug. She knows that this toy is MINE. I have spent months breaking the bug’s will. Months of carefully designed torture techniques; and she comes in and “pats” it around. For such insolence I attacked her while she slept. But the furless ones chastised ME! I gave them evils but they still cooed over the simple one. Still at 3am on Sunday morning I asserted my dominance over the bug, furless ones and Wimble. I announced the catching of the bug at the top of my lungs. The furless Mum yelled “Sharlie you nut job it’s the middle of the night”.

Ah, my work is done.

The infidel well and truly has her paws under the table. All hopes of her permanent exile look dashed. So I am resigned to life with Willow. Much to my surprise the lilac point is quite useful. I have on many occasions been saved the bother of walking across the humans heads in the morning to wake them up. The Wizz happily follows my instruction. BUT somehow the humans knew I put her up to it. I think the infidel has been letting more than her gas slip. Which incidentally is worse when it has chicken.

Wimble is warm, that is her one grace. She makes a nice warm pillow when the mood takes me! But I have to thoroughly clean her before I can put my nose that close to her.

I have also been exiled again for biting Wizzle’s leg. I really did not see the furless one in the door. Must be more vigilant.

Winston came in the house the other day. He always comes in and gives it large hissing at me. I usually ignore him and he gets removed. However this time he did not fancy his chances against two of us. Maybe Wimble’s not that bad. What am I saying? She stinks!

Talking of Winston reminds me of Mr.Boofers. I am fairly sure he is a cat. But he is beautiful. The furless one was telling us how we will both be going to see him at the end of the year. Well that Lilac ho better not go presenting her pom poms to him or there will be a shake down. Boofers in MINE.

Sharlie's thoughts for the day!

The Infidel Willow has taken to following me everywhere now. Everytime I turn around the old goat is there. Crowing at me. Whilst crowing for food it often walks into me. You'd think after a good slap she would learn. But no.

I was pleased to see Wilf (yeah yeah) was exiled for chasing me. Meant one hour of bliss. Unfortunately I was exiled later for no real good reason. She really wanted me to scratch an itch on her head for her with my back feet vigorously.

My point in fact regards Wibble(near enough) being dumb was proved by the bow wearing incident. Myself like any other self respecting cat will bite and kick and remove any demeaning human adornments. Not Wiffle, she sat there purring while the human coo'd. I miaowed loudly all through Top Gear as punishment for the furless ones. Just you wait til 4am tomorrow morning...Mwaaaahhh Mwaahhhh

Sharlie's Blog!

The infidel Willow is still here. It's been 6 months. Looks like I am stuck with it. I was hoping once her clones went she would to. But to no avail. The humans took her to be spayed. No more clones at least.

The infidel has taken to miawing for attention. Seems to work but very tiresome for me. It's like a performing seal. I tried to explain by with holding behavior the humans find "cute" and only rewarding them with it when they have been very good means more treats. But I have come to the conclusion that Widdle or whatever her name is, is clearly a simpleton.

I have however discovered that letting the imbecile lilac point sit with me in the radiator bed means more dentabits. So I have tolerated it. However today when I was spaging her on the head (in a friendly game of your it) I was exiled. Must remember only to spag Wimble (what EVER) when they are not looking.

Hot Hot Hot

Phew it's a heatwave and don't I know it. I can't cope. Feel well and truly ill. I miss working in an air conditioned building as this generally saves me from feeling like this!!

Mr.Boofers has not been well. His liver and thyroid are back under control but he's clearly unhappy. He would not eat and his eye keeps reinfecting, what coupled with his arthritis. But that said he has brightened up a bit.

CONGRATULATIONS Pablo Von Halletero! That's Hallett for those who don't speak silly. Paul got a new job at Symbol technologies! They now have 3 Paul's in IT! And Fisher can once again gaze lovingly across the data centre at him!

Steve's birthday soon (& Emma, Neill, Sharlie and Boofers!). So a busy month. See you all in Reading for some boozin if I recover from my heat stroke(seriously stop laughing!)

And we saw Paris Sunday 4 weeks after she left us. She so big! And she could not be loved any more than she is! So have photos of Paris, Moet(Rosko) and Nicole(Katie)!